I was hanging out on Facebook (if you can hang out on Facebook) this morning and noticed a fellow friends status.
“Interesting question I just read - What fear keeps you from being emotionally healthy?”
This really intrigues me, as there are a variety of different things that keep people from being emotionally healthy that we don’t realize or read into.
I’ve been sitting here thinking about what holds me back from emotional health and I’ve come up with 3.
1. The fear of not being in control.
This is definitely number 1 for me. If I’m not in control of every aspect of my life, my anxiety is at a 10 (which is unfortunately most of the time). I need to know when I’m getting up in the morning, what I’m having for supper, what I’m doing the upcoming weekend…etc. I need routine. If something pushes me out of routine, I panic.
I’ve let go quite a bit over the past couple years. I’ve learned that I can’t control my outside surroundings, only how I react. This has been a big learning curve for me. But I haven’t been able to fully conquer this. It’ll take time and cognitive therapy.
2. The fear of being judged (and not being liked)
This is a hard one for me to admit because I like to think that I don’t “give a shit” what others think about me. I can remember being in high school and moving along, minding my own business, and not caring about others opinions. As I get older, it seems the more I read into others judgements.
I’ve been seeing a therapist lately to talk about the changes that are going on in my life. I’m moving to a different province next month and there are so many factors that are out of my control. It’s terrifying to me. After discussing the fear of moving, it suddenly dawned on me I’m mostly stressed over being judged. Moving to a small town from a big city is something I’ve never done before. Being under the public eye….not my most favourite thing. Again, I’m working on it…but it’s definitely something that holds me back in social situations.
3. The fear of failure
This fear contributes to many parts of my life.
Will I be able to do everything I want to do in life?
Will I look back when I’m 80 and be happy with the life I lived?
Am I and will I continue to be a contributing member to society?
I’m slowly learning I can’t be perfect in everything I do. I won’t always succeed and that’s okay.
Even though there are fears that keep me from being completely emotionally healthy, there are way more things that contribute to me BEING emotionally healthy. Medications, cognitive therapy, doctors, therapists, exercise, healthy eating…etc. I may have these fears, but I also have hope and determination.