Oh hey. It’s been awhile. I’ve been waiting for some inspiration for my next post, but in all honesty, fall leaves me feeling a bit unmotivated. My days are also a lot busier than the child-less days of Netflix and reading a book a week. The exhaustion and lack of sleep are also very real. My brain does not comprehend or think as well as it used to!
Being a mamma has brought a lot of new and interesting emotions. I’ve been feeling a lot of postpartum anxiety since my son was born. I’ve also been doing a lot of reading about it. I don’t find I worry a lot. I don’t have visions or anxieties about my son getting hurt. My anxiety more revolves around day to day activities.
- What do I do with him all day?
- Is he tired? Should I put him to bed?
- Why is he crying?(cue total panic) Please stop crying.
- Okay what toy do I put him in front of next? What if he hates it?
- Should we go for a walk? What if he cries halfway through.
I panic when he wakes up from a nap. Why?? Seriously….I have absolutely no idea.
I have no idea why I feel anxiety over such simple things! I love my son and my heart beats with happiness every time I see him. The panic is puzzling to me. I’ve spent quite a bit of time trying to come up with a reason for these extreme emotions over simple things.
I started this post planning to write about my experience, hoping others would be able to relate and find comfort. But, honestly, I’m hoping others may be able to relate, which may provide me comfort lol! The type of postpartum anxiety I have read about includes mostly worrying about your baby’s health and safety. My worries about health and safety aren’t more than the average mamma. The anxiety’s I do have are…..strange. Random. Sensibility, where are you?
What a complicated thing parenthood is!