For you. Thank you.
Thank you for the support during my pregnancy. Thank you for bringing me food, for cleaning my house, for checking up on me with a text or a phone call. Thank you for bringing me gravol, for picking up my medications, for making me peppermint tea. Thank you for throwing me a shower, for the MANY gifts, and for making my baby the luckiest baby in the world before he was even born. Thank you for listening to me vent and giving me support at all times of the day and night while I barfed every day, and thank you for driving me all the way to Williams Lake for appointments and non-stress tests. And thank you for helping us move when we bought a house, while I lay on the floor or on the couch while barfing.
Thank you for the support for the weeks after my labor. Thank you for visiting me in the hospital, for bringing my family meals, for bringing me extremely large underwear, enormous pads, and an endless amount of stool softeners. Thank you for eagerly wanting to come over when you can, close or far away.
Thank you for the support with a new baby. Thank you for the advice (truly), for putting him to sleep when I’m struggling, for holding him when I eat. Thank you for coming over so I can talk to another adult, for taking him for a few hours so I can nap or taking him so I can remain sane, for babysitting or offering to babysit. And thank you for being just as excited when he smiles or rolls over, for changing his diaper, and for showering him with love.
And above all, thank you for being open and non-judgmental. I hate seeing moms argue and judge each other about various things in mommyhood. I don’t care how you put your baby to sleep, if you formula feed or breast feed, if you baby wear or not, if you need time away from your baby to be a better parent, if you cloth diaper or not, if you co-sleep or not. All that matters is if you love and care for your child. Parenting is like a sport. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes you are MVP and sometimes you get kicked in the crotch.
I feel like the luckiest person in the world. I have a support system in my hometown and I have a tribe in my new town. A few weeks ago I felt myself starting to go downhill. I hadn’t felt any post partum depression or anxiety up until that point. I wallowed for a couple weeks. The anxiety is too much at times. But I’m trying my best to make sure I’m too busy to even think about it. I’ve been pumping instead of directly breastfeeding for a while and I’ve recently made the decision to formula feed. Getting up in the middle of the night to pump and trying to find time to pump in the day with a baby that doesn’t nap has become too difficult. And I feel that the hormones that come with pumping are a main contributor to the depression. So here we go with an attempt to get through the early months of this motherhood thing!